I'm having a PMS day or poor me syndrome day. Yup, got a rejection from an online query. As queries go this was pretty good rejection considering it wasn't just the standard thanks but no thanks.
Still, after 20 something years of rejections I'm sick of getting thanks but no thanks rejections. They still hurt, no matter how tough / thick you think your skin is - ALOT. I think I must completely suck as a writer if I can't even get past that stage. I think I suck big time if I can't even get past the partial stage.
But I'll still keep on going.
Still feel embarrassed when someone who's been writing for shorter periods final in contests, get an agent and / or picked up for publication.
Still keep cheering those people on, because they have worked very hard to get to where they have.
Still hold my head up when I go to conferences and writer friends ask kindly if I'm published yet.
Still make self deprecating jokes about myself to make them feel better when they get embarrassed.
I've decided that this year I'm going to try for a rejection more detailed than - not suitable for us, good luck with your career blah blah blah. Kindly meant, still a metaphoric knife to the chest.
Other than that it's been a pretty good couple of months. I've gotten submissions in for a contest, which I don't think completely suck and blow, but I'm not a judge - so who knows. I'll get the same love hate scores. At least my work is eliciting some kind of emotion.
Writers can't not write.